So this was my short revision of the Break Up. I changed a line or two and added in a line or two as well. I still am proud of this poem and I liked how it turned out now. I’m sure that there is always some criticism by myself and others but as of right now I don’t think i am going to change anything.
So I really liked how this poem turned out. When I started to write it I knew what I wanted to accomplish and I did. I used metaphors in parts of my poem, but I still really liked Mr. Sheehy’s idea of turning the rest of the poem into a metaphor dealing with the ship and the wind blowing. Instead of having these two things separate I could combine them into one big metaphor. I think that is what I will do on our next writing challenge. Then again I could always write about how the actual break up went after it actually happens, but only if it is a story worth telling.. We will save that story for a different day.
My blog was Titled the guardian. I was trying to talk about my dad and him being my guardian angel. I think my poem probably would be stronger if I used one of the poetic devices. I could have used things to make my images more vivid. I like how my poem turned out, but I can’t wait to work on our next piece so that I can fix my flaws.
